My photographic legacy

So, Christmas this year is going to be quiet. Nice, but quiet. I am one of those who prefer a boisterous three-day extravaganza. I like snow and cold weather in the days or weeks leading to December 25 although I have learned to do with mild and green. And I am quite happy to see the cold dissipate after January 1.

This year holiday planning has gone so smoothly that I decided I had lots of time to start a project. It'll only take a couple of days I thought.

I thought wrong.

I am going through 25 years of unsorted photographs to create life histories for my kids as a special gift for them. I am writing stories and anecdotes about the photos so they will know as much about the family and their childhoods as I do -- well almost. Some things are better left under the rug.

I have been at it for about five days now. After a marathon 10 hours today, standing at the kitchen counter on hard ceramic tile, I can say with confidence that I am halfway through. Better than half. I think. Yes, 10 hours of standing at the counter with package upon package of black card stock, plastic page protectors and those little corners to anchor the photos in place. Did you know those little corner things are now peel-and-stick? I had no idea but thank you to whoever decided it would be a good idea.

Rather than do the albums chronologically ('cause that would be too easy) I'm going by theme. Ancient family, me (There are no dads. They were virgin births. Honest.), their births, school, activities and minor trips, Disney World, Christmases, birthdays, etc. Each section has at least one write up. I pick the most representative shots, crop them, place them on the page, and write/print the stories.

My son's album is complete although now that I've sorted the photos for my daughter, I've found a few more for him and am not sure if I have left space for them. The photos for my daughter's are sorted. I think I can have hers done in two days. Go, me!

My shoulders are killing me from hunching over. I have a headache.

But I think these gifts are going to be really cool. Who doesn't like reading about themselves? Plus, when I'm dead I don't want them having to try to figure out who various people are. And did I mention the amount of space these pictures take up? I've already thrown lots out, but four large plastic tubs is nuts.

So here's to a not-so-smooth Christmas.

If I don't get back here before the big day, look for me in the corner under a mountain of the leftovers from my cropping frenzy and wipe the drool from my chin, would you?

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Solstice, Joyous Kwanza, Happy Eid.... Merry, merry holidays!

Colleen

Teaching boys about condoms

My son was home-schooled through high school. Not because of any problems but because he was miserable and bored.

I give you this background not for any political reason but so you understand that the logistical part of sex ed has been denied him.

Oh, we've talked about sex. Responsibility, pleasure, safety. He knows the score. (I hope.)

When my late bloomer announced that he was finally ready to date, however, I realized that, at some time in the foreseeable future, safe sex and condom use would no longer be relegated to the realm of academic discussion. And then I wondered: What if he was too shy to purchase them?

When my daughter was in high school, the health office had a bowlful of them that kids could nonchalantly walk beside and scoop up as needed.

What resources would my son have?

None. Just me.

So, I bought a box of them and brought them home and told him to pay attention. I proceeded to show him how to use one by slipping one over my fingers. (What can I say, we didn't have a banana in the house.)

He was, in a word, mortified.

He told me that I had scarred him for life.

He announced that he'd be in therapy for years to come.

And then, last night, in front of a friend and me, he told her all about it, laughing. It has become one of those things we share and tease each other about -- like we do about almost everything.

It seems my presentation is no longer mortifying and, because of it, he has no excuse not to be safe.

Sometimes, as a parent, you have to do something risky to get a kid's attention. Another discussion about safe sex wouldn't have had the same impact.

And I feel pretty good about this.

Colleen

What I am grateful for this year

Despite a break up and reduced financial circumstances, I have so much to be grateful for this year. I know that sounds really sappy, but it's also very true.

My kids have really stepped up to the plate this year and been such terrific support. I couldn't have asked for more.

I am one of those moms who are really involved in their kids' lives, even though one of them is in her mid-20s and the other is working full-time and readying himself to go off to school. I help wherever I can and they count on me -- especially my daughter.

Over the past year, their very rocky relationship with each other has improved immensely and we can now enjoy time together. They were even able to partner to create a really thoughtful two-day long birthday for me. (It was my 50th and I'd just become single so it could have been emotionally rocky.) On one weekend that was particularly difficult for me following the split, my daughter showed up and we did things together all weekend turning it into a fun time. I regularly receive text messages from my daughter telling me that she appreciates what I do for her and that she loves me. My son compliments me on how well I'm handing the break-up and we have dinner together nearly everyday and talk about almost everything.

This Thanksgiving, they have invited friends to dinner -- friends who would have otherwise been alone. Tomorrow night, our little trio will swell to 10. To help with the preparations, my son baked two pumpkin pies yesterday; my daughter will be over early to help me make the meal.

Don't they just rock?

A few years ago, when my daughter was going through her most difficult years (and, oh boy, were they difficult) no one would have guessed at how close we would become.

So, it will be my kids who I will be toasting this Thanksgiving, happy that we have survived and come together, confident that we can count on each other.

I wish everyone a very happy thanksgiving.

Colleen