Monday, April 19, 2010

Installment III

It's 7:20.

That's 6:20 in Toronto. Too early to send a morning greeting. And I probably shouldn't do that anyway.

I hop out of bed, not quite remembering the list of things I have to do today.

I'm alone. I think about this, feeling the quality of the apartment's stillness. Even though I often wake alone on the days that my son leaves early for work, today's solitude is different. I have to get used to this.

Get laundry started. I make a mental tick against that chore as I shove dirty socks and towels into the washing machine.

I had coffee with a friend a couple of days ago. She's another single mom. When our kid's leave, it's different for us, I told her. Us, as opposed to them -- married parents.

She nodded. They're not just our kids, they become our social lives too.

I knew she'd understand.

This feels like a divorce.

I have to shower now and get on with my day.

There is a lump in my throat.



  1. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I've told both my kids they will have to live at home when they go to college due to the cost. I guess that is a good thing.

  2. I told my son I'd cover the cost of his first degree (it's cheap in Canada compared to U.S.) but if he wanted to live away, he'd have to pay for his living expenses. He's worked for the past year and saved enough to do this. Damn that work ethic!