Ontario: the new black

True story:

Overheard at Tim's in Truro last Tuesday.

A young guy approaches the order counter and greets the server whom he obviously knows. He proceeds to tell her that he has a new girlfriend who is pretty and very nice and he's happy with her.

The woman smiles and tells him she'd love to meet this new girl. "Bring her in sometime."

The young man drops his gaze to the floor which he examines with sheepish intensity. "Uh, well..." There is a long pause. "She's from Ontario."

"Oh," the woman responds. "Well, as long as she's nice."

Is Ontarian the new black?

C

The Big Republican Conspiracy

I love American politics... hilarious. The Dems are blaming the GOP for the selection of the SC Dem candidate for Senate -- an unemployed and uncommunicative guy who lives in his father's basement.

John Stewart

Colleen

A snippet of dialogue

I like home design shows. My favourite designer is Sarah Richardson whose new series started this week. Since I was going to be away, I recorded it and watched it yesterday. The following is from the show and was delivered without irony or sarcasm. Just two friends talking. It made me smile. A lot.

Tommy (co-designer): You expect me to jump over that? [small trench dug in yard]
Sarah: Do you want me to hold your hand?
Tommy: I can do it. I took ballet when I was a kid.

C

Publish Post

Former Prom King lives among the Peons

I love The Onion.

Enjoy!
Colleen

Foot versus Brain Power

In a competition between foot and brain power, which would win?

Try combining getting around on two legs with a 50-year-old's tendency to forget what they've doing while they are in the midst of doing it and you have an ideal situation for getting a lot of exercise.

Yesterday, I awoke at seven ready to get the house in order and start something special for Sunday dinner with my kids. I swept and dusted and washed floors. I did laundry and examined The Joy of Cooking for something fun to do with a pork roast.

I settled on pulled pork and needed a few things from the grocery store.

But first, I had to return a movie rental.

I bundled up, grabbed my shopping cart the DVD and headed out the door. Halfway down the street, I realized I hadn't checked the case to ensure the DVD was inside. It wasn't.

I returned home, got the movie and successfully returned it the struck out for the nearest grocery store a few blocks away.

At the deli counter, I ordered some coleslaw and broccoli salad and remembered that I hadn't brought my wallet with me.

I returned home again, retrieved my bank card and, since I'd overdressed, was overheated and pealed off some clothes before the return trip to the store.

I managed to complete my trip successfully this time while doubling the distance I was originally set to walk.

I am losing my mind.

The one good note -- aside from extra exercise -- is that this would have been even more annoying had I been in a car and had needed to park it each time I'd stopped.

Power to the feet -- if not to the brain!

Have a great Monday! I know I will... I'm off shoe shopping with my daughter.

(Oh, and I've finally broken through my weight-loss plateau and am down another three pounds. Yay!)

Colleen

Wanna be Canadian?

Jut to make ya smile...

I know you want to be Canadian!

(Watch it with captions to read the lyrics.)

Colleen

Two things

Tow unrelated items today... the first: a question.

Why do drivers of service trucks keep their roof lights flashing in the middle of the night when they are parked in a legitimate parking spot in a parking lot surrounded by those of us who are trying to sleep?

Second, for your entertainment and provided by Becca.

Kate Miller-Heidke and Are You F*cking Kidding Me?

Cheers!
Colleen

Editing Letter

Lara Zielin's video about editing her manuscript to the tune of Corey Hart's Never Surrender. It's a must see. It's also brilliant marketing.

Here's her second video celebrating National Donut Day.

Her debut novel Donut Days was released August 2009.

Enjoy!

Colleen

'Cause the Cards Say So!

On-line tarot readings! Don't laugh. I heard that titter from here. And wipe that smirk off your face. You... you anti-new-age intellectual you.

I will have you know that my year is going to be a good one. I have a nine-page print-out to prove it. That is if I don't do something to screw it up. And, of course, I can change my course. Oh, never mind.

Here's my future according to the Great Karnak or someone.

How I perceive myself: 8 of Wands -- the change I am creating in my life is challenging me to keep up with it. (Really? Me, changing? Again? No kidding!)
My situation: 6 of coins -- there is an imbalance in my social or family situation.
Challenges/Opportunities (sounds like one of the communication plans I write for a living): page of swords -- I have the opportunity and position to influence those around me. (Well, I am Empress of the Universe.)
Personal history: 3 of coins -- pass on my craft/knowledge/understanding on to others
Recent past: 8 of swords: I have passed a test. The worst is over. (Yea, me!)
Higher power: knight of coins -- I am in a position to infuse a situation with energy and optimism.
Near future: 10 of coins -- I am supposed to relax knowing that abundance is mine. Mine, I tell you! However it will only last if I follow the advice card that follows below.
Blocks and Inhibitions: 9 of coins -- Now is the time for me to stop questioning my worthiness and get moving. Stop being rudderless.
Allies: 9 of coins -- put my work aside and focus on interacting with others. Take time to confer with talented people I admire who can support me. (Rather self-serving!)
Advice (here's the card we've been waiting for): page of cups -- Make myself fully available for whatever is needed. Find the best way to be of service to others (You're fucking kidding me. That's been my whole life. No way. It's Miller Time, baby! So what's this mean? That abundance with only be mine if I "Look at individuals around me as the embodiment of the Divine and try to fulfill each one's needs." The explanation goes on to say that I should be unconcerned with the outcome of my efforts. That I will, at some time in the future, understand why I needed to be in this position. UGH!)
Long-term potential: king of wands -- my foundation is firm, a growth trend is established and the future is abundant.Take some risks with an eye to the future.

I could certainly deal with some abundance. And as funny as this is, much of it sounds right. I am learning new things, I am sharpening my craft, I am entering a period of service to a couple of non-profits including a local hospital, and a potential volunteer arrangement with the Canada Games 2011. And I am at a fork in the road. Well, many forks actually. But I like change so that's not a bad thing. I just have to make some decisions. That's the tough part.

What about you? What do you want for your year?


Colleen

Man Defends What He Supposes the American Constitution to Be

Gotta love The Onion. This had me laughing out loud.

Enjoy your day.

Colleen

What is it with those vegetarians?

Overheard at a coffee shop...

A middle-aged man and woman, each with their own newspaper. The papers are not the same. They chat about what they are reading without looking away from their pages or worrying about interrupting the other.

Man: What is it with these vegetarians?
Woman: I don't know. They don't eat meat.
Man:  Some of them eat fish. Fish is a meat as far as I'm concerned.
Woman: There are different kinds. Some don't eat anything with eyes.
Man: Harrumph.... Black-eyed peas have eyes.
Woman: Well, yes.
Man: Or is it black-eyed susans.
Woman: Black-eyed susans.
Man: Ah.

I don't know. This just cracked me up.

Colleen

Love, Handbag

The mall downtown sent me a rather clever postcard yesterday.

The photo is of a purse on a pink background. It is a lovely purse. Just the kind I'd love to own.

The message reads:

I hope you remember me.

I'm the handbag that held your gaze when you passed by, not long ago, on the Lane. In those brief seconds I could see our life together like we'd already lived it. Long strolls in the city -- weekends in the country -- always holding each other close.

I'm still here -- waiting for your return. I hope we meet again. Who knows what wonderful things lay in store for us.

Until then, I'll remain an empty vessel, alone and unfulfilled.

With love and anticipation,
Handbag

Dreams and Goals