Okay so I can't sleep. I was sleeping and for a fifty-year-old woman that is amazing. To awake feeling refreshed instead of like a stray sock that's gone around the wash cycle nine times. It was back in the fall. Before I quit my job or rather didn't renew my contract, and before the ex tried to weasel his way back into my affections and then continued to date other women. (Here's my head; go mess with it.)
So I am now tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable in a too-warm apartment with a bedroom window that opens over a noisy parking lot, and dragging my behind out of bed like said sock. Not only that, I am having a darn difficult time trying to get back into writing. I've finished draft one and am supposed to be tackling a first edit before I trundle the pages off to my writing group.
Yet, I wander around the apartment like a lost puppy. Sure, you're thinking. You're not on a schedule. Rushing out the door to work, filling your days with meetings and work, work, work.
But shouldn't I be enjoying this slower pace? Taking advantage of a few extra weeks to myself? Going gangbusters on my manuscript?
I don't want to give you the impression that I've curled into the fetal position and am sucking my thumb. I've gotten query letters out, edited a few chapters of the WIP, been cooking like a good mom, meeting with friends. I even met with the Canada Games folks on Wednesday to see if I want to take the lead role on communication for the culture component of the games.
Sounds not too bad, eh?
So why do I feels so gloomy?
Yes, yes, it's been a rough few months. But I feel like I should be over it and back to my old self. I thought I was actually. About a week ago. But today I'm not and am thinking that this phase is taking way too long.
I've also decided that I hate my apartment and believe that it should be considered my transition home. If the next person you date after a break up is your transition person then the same should be true for your home. I mean in the middle of a split, when you're in the land of "what's mine and what's yours?" more affectionately known as "that's mine and that's mine" who can rationally locate the home of their dreams -- even short-term dreams -- and on a tight deadline?
So, I hereby move for a change to the Landlord and Tenant Act to allow newly-separated persons to sign a clause allowing them out of their first lease at any time after the relationship ends.
All in favour?
Hunger Moon now available for review!
5 days ago